The Chaser's War on Everything — Season 2

Mar 2007

- Intro Joke; Token Cute Animal - Knut. - Change of names; Craig - Wil Anderson, Chris - Corinne Grant - Stunt; Craig Reucassel confronting Peter Debnam in speedos and a baseball cap. - The Fixers; The Chaser (fixed) and David Hicks (not fixed). - Scenes From The Life Of The Crazy Warehouse Guy; Church. - What Have We Learnt From Current Affairs This Week?; Jodi Power and Mercedes Corby, Body Language Experts and Safe with a baby. - Ad/Trailer; Too many Americans on Channel Ten. - Ad Road Test; Wendy's, A flavour for every state of mind. - Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "(Craig: or catch the repeat of the show after lateline) that's the show hosted by ALP candidates"

Apr 2007

- Intro Joke; Swimmer who should've taken drugs: Grant Hackett. - Stunt; Malcolm Turnball's house for Sydney's hour of darkness. - Stunt; West Coke Eagles. - Clive The Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Calling doctor about his bent penis on a train. - Citizens' Infringement Officer; Bad tattoos. - Ad/Trailer; The Biggest Muslim - Firth In The USA; Punishment t-shirts. - If Life Were A Musical; Loose and tights pants. - The Fixers; Hanson and Oldfield (not fixed), British hostages in Iran (fixed), Brain Burke (fixed) and recycled water (Stunt; public taste test of water) (not fixed). - Pursuit Trivia; Tony Windsor, What is the official languague of Easter Island? (Incorrect)(Spanish). - The News According To Fox; Fair and Balanced, Chuck Norris, clutter screen with useless information and Anna Nicole-Smith. - Stunt; Blind taxi driver. - Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "Please note too that from next week we will be moving to Channel Seven like every other ABC comedy" - Credits, Pursuit Trivia Continued; "Which lovable beverly hillbilly died aged 95 in 2003?" (Incorrect)(Buddy Ebsen).

Apr 2007

* Intro Joke; Bridalwear By Ray's Tent City. * What Have We Learned From History; Adam and Eve accepted fruit from a serpent. * Ad/Trailer; 2007 Global Warming Games. * Firth In The USA; Hillary Clinton Intern. * Stunt; Sprinkling of Mother Ashes. * Ad/Trailer; JTV Wolfmother. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; * Who To Blame? * Lesson 16: Humiliation. * Clive The Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Drugs on a Train. * The Fixers; Chas' Smell (not fixed), Libby Lenton and Bra Boys (Not Fixed). * Ad Road Test; The Flashbeer commercial for Carlton Draught. * Credit joke; Chris Taylor's mother is not really dead. Please do not send flowers.

Apr 2007

* Before Show Joke; Pg Version. * Intro Joke; When in Melbourne The Chaser Team stay at Broughton Hall. * Stunt; Sunrise(TV) Dawn Service. * Stunt; Pokies & Live Music. * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (McDonalds) (Part 1). * Stunt; Grim Reaper, Job Applications. * Surprise Spruiker; Imam Ali ben Abi Taleb Mosque at Lakemba making comments on Sheikh Taj El-Din Hilaly * What you missed on Cable; Maury Povich + Easter Specials. * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (Part 2). * Song; Pauline Pauline Pauline. * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Fining people speeding (above the limit) in car parks. * Ad/ Trailer; Copycat effect. * Stunt; Buying a Bed. * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "Or if you're very quick why not check out some clips on YouTube, Before some 15 year-old kid deletes them all." * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (McDonalds) (Part 3).

Apr 2007

* Intro Joke; Token Anzac Day picture. * Change of names; Various Big Brother Australia 2007 housemates. * Sketch; Chaser Channel Nine pilot, brought to you by Toyota, including: o Surprise Spruiker; Coles ("totally brilliant supermarket"). o Stunt (Election Wach); John Howard, ("I like Work Choices"). o What We Have Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; "A Current Affair Leads in Exclusives... and General Excellence". * Stunt; Could Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) pick up a girl?. * If Life Were A Musical; "I need a hammer". * Stunt; Dancing with Kerry-Anne. * Stunt; Putting people on hold. * Sketch; The Logie Orchestra in normal life. * Firth in the USA; Famous world landmarks being told they are all in Australia. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Segues, Lesson 17: Menaces to Society. * Ad/Trailer; "Lets Ground JetStar". * The Fixers; Alan Jones, Graffiti, Immigration, Dolly Magazine. * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (McDonalds) (Part 4). * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And remember as I always like to say about the show..." (orchestra plays).

May 2007

* Intro Joke; Apparent celebrity: Michael Weatherly * Change of names; Craig - Rove McManus, Chris - John Wood, Chas - Kate Ritchie, Julian - Bert Newton, Andrew - Natalie Blair. * Stunt; Mark Latham's Ghost. * Mr. Ten Questions; Jimmy Wales. * Stunt; Baby admission. * Song; Gas Guzzlin'. * Stunt; 3 Minute Angels. * Scenes From The Life Of The Crazy Warehouse Clearance Guy; Tourist photos. * The News According To Fox; * Ad/Trailer; Statue Parkinson disease. * The Fixers; Snoop Dogg, overweight children, Newsagents. * Ad Road Test; Fantastic Soho's Delites.

May 2007

* Intro Joke; Special budget analysis: Bindi Irwin * Intro; 2007 Federal Budget. * Change of names; Craig - Adam Hills, Chris - Dave Hughes, Julian - Hamish, Chas - Andy, Charles - Fifi Box. * Stunt; The Logies. o White powder on red carpet. o American TV stars here for Australia. o Stealing a logie award. o Work Experience with Richard Wilkins. * Ad/Trailer; Segway 1000. * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Pants too low / Underwear too high. * If Life Were A Musical; "Welcome Back Mrs. Henderson". * Firth in the USA; Iraq Poll. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Segues, ANZAC tributes, War veterans. Lesson 18: Useful Advice; Noisy Sex, Strawberries for whitening teeth, Home-Made Lip Gloss, Pauline Hanson's taxi fare offer. * Ad/Trailer; Starship Preposterous. * The Fixers; Qantas takeover, Wages (directed at Priceline and API). * Ad Road Test; The Lose Yourself in Melbourne tourism campaign.

May 2007

* Before Show Joke; Disclaimer stating The War do not reflect their content as much as Bastard Boys but just as biased. * Intro Joke; Special Guest Fainter: Kellie Connolly * Change of names; Craig - John Coombes, Chris - Chris Corrigan, Chas - Greg Combet, Julian - Peter Reith, Andrew - Bill Kelty. * Intro; Australian Cricket Team banned from Zimbabwe. * Stunt; Following John Howard with a boombox playing his recorded phone message. * Ad/Trailer; The Shawskank Redemption starring Paris Hilton (parody of The Shawshank Redemption). * Stunt; Finding Public Address systems in businesses and making announcements. * Song; I Still Can't Accept What a Knob I Am (parody of I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For). * What Have We Learned From History; Germany invading Poland in World War II. * Ad/Trailer; Inside the ACTU boardroom. * The Fixers; Fairfax (aimed at David Kirk), Taj El-Din Hilaly (for his tape over his mouth comment) * Nut Job of the Week; Road testing The Secret. * Ad/Trailer; Crocodile Dundee in Bermuda (parody of the Crocodile Dundee series of films aimed at Paul Hogan's tax evasion). * Stunt; UN peacekeeper's protecting Australia from violence.

May 2007

* Intro Joke; Next ALP candidates: B1 & B2. * Change of Names; Craig - Paul Vautin, Chris - Peter Sterling, Chas - Ray Warren, Andrew - Paul 'The Chief' Harragon, Julian - Matthew Johns. * Stunt; Political donations: o New South Wales Labor Party - Ku Klux Klan Australia: ACCEPTED; o New South Wales Liberal Party - Man-Boy Love Association: ACCEPTED; o Federal Australian Labor Party - al-Qaeda Australia: REJECTED; o Federal Australian Liberal Party - al-Qaeda Australia: ACCEPTED. * Surprise Spruiker; Channel Nine headquarters. * Ad/Trailer; Parody of Kevin Rudd's current TV political campaign. * Ad/Trailer; Roget's Thesaurus movie trailer. * Song; I Am Thesaurus (parody of I Am the Walrus). * The Fixers; Fatwas (for Julian's stunt with Shiekh al-Hilali the previous week); responsible drinking. * What You Missed On Cable; Maury moment featuring 90 year old stripper, comparing ABC TV sports with Foxtel sports. * Ad Road Test; the Australian Seniors Finance ad where seniors use bricks instead of coins and cash.

May 2007

* Intro Joke; The Chaser Team dressed by Amanda Vanstone. * Change of names; Craig - Matthew, Chris - Mark, Julian - Luke, Chas - John, Andrew - Satan. * Stunt; Waiters taking away unfinished drinks. * Stunt; Chas' dog Sonny earning a doctor degree and entering practice. * Ad/Trailer; Myfbusters (parody of MythBusters). * If Life Were A Musical; Press conference with The Veronicas. * Ad/Trailer; Hausfrau Hitler (Parody of Mrs. Doubtfire). * Stunt; ALP preselection for ABC TV personalities and stuff. * Ad/Trailer; Australia's Workplace Relations System. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 19: Desperate Angles; * Ad/Trailer; Big Brother, Big Arseholes. (Parody of the Big Brother 'secret' commercials) * The Fixers; Government annihilation (pressing a large Ctrl-Z model of the keyboard buttons)), Coked Up Lawyers (drugs in the law profession). * Scenes From The Life Of The Crazy Warehouse Guy; Surgery. * Stunt; Spur of the moment In-Store Appearances in random businesses featuring Spiderbait.

Jun 2007

* Intro Joke; Political Prisoners of the week: Paris Hilton and Aung San Suu Kyi. * Change of names; Craig - Mick Molloy, Chris - Nikki Osborne, Julian - Akmal Saleh, Chas - Gary Eck, Andrew - Jackie O. * Intro; Paris Hilton goes to jail; John Howard "Who do you trust?". * Stunt; Testing the Peel Hotel and Polish club's gaydars with Tinky Winky. * Mr. Ten Questions; Sophia Loren. * Stunt; The Licciardello Plan for climate change. * Ad/Trailer; First Tuesday Porno Club (Parody of First Tuesday Book Club). * Citizens Infringement Officer; Wacky comedy t-shirts. * Ad/Trailer; "Thank Allah You're Here" (Parody of Thank God You're Here). * Firth in the USA; What do Americans remember about September 11, 2001. * Song; "US Bases, hell why not?" (parody of US Forces by Midnight Oil highlighting (former lead singer) Peter Garrett's changes of policy). * Observation; Different types of footwear hanging on wires above houses have different meanings. * Stunt; A large group of people gatecrashing a house that's is open for inspection and having a party. * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Discussing collection of sperm for a sperm bank. * The Fixers; Malcolm Turnbull, Broadsheet newspapers (which involved reading a newspaper blanket on public transport). * Ad/Trailer; Lop off a limb for leprosy day. * Ad Road Test o Discussed inability to road test the new Tooheys New ad due to not knowing the premise of it. o Terrain testing footwear at Athlete's Foot.

Jun 2007

* Intro Joke; Spoiler result for tonights game: NSW 28 QLD 13 * Change of names; Craig - Michael Duffy, Chris - Gerard Henderson, Andrew - Janet Albrechtsen, Julian - Dalai Lama. * Intro; John Howard praying for rain; Dalai Lama meeting the PM. * If Life Were A Musical; Waiting for the doctor. * Ad/Trailer; new directors for The Hobbit: Nick Giannopoulos - The Woggit, Woody Allen, Michael Moore. * Stunt; Getting revenge on security guards. * What have We Learned from Current Affairs this week? Anna's Segue of the Week - Dodgy Barcodes to Logies Fashions. Lesson 20: Chaser Stories including the Peter Meakin Booze Bus stunt and report. * The Fixers; Cloning, which resulted in multiple George Pell's. Julian's Mobile, travelling to Mumbai, India for help. * Mr. Ten Questions - Megan Gale. * Porno Clichés - Stunt: Testing Clichés. Test 1: Handyman. Test 2: Pizza Boy. Test 3: Pool Boy. * End of show joke : No More Material * Song: The Filler Song performed by Andrew Hansen with the coda "Peter Meakin, what a pisshead!"

Jun 2007

* Intro Joke; Disclaimer: Some of the shots in the opening credits may have been set up. * Change of names; Craig - Libby Gore, Chris - Lisa Oldfield, Julian - Zoe Sheridan, Chas - Mary Moody * Intro; Today Tonight on The Chaser's fake scenes, James Packer's wedding. * Stunt; Julian using a mobile billboard to advertise "End Mobile Billboards Now!". * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Talking to his doctor about herpes * Pursuit Trivia; New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark o According to the Book of Revelation, what is the Number of the Beast? Answer: Six Six Six (did not answer). o How many states are there in Australia Helen's Answer: Six (correct). * Stunt; Chas taking part in "Pedestrian rage" instead of Road rage (which involved Chas running around with a car parts attached to his body) * Stunt; Book fans dressing up as their favourite objects or characters from their books. o Donna Hay cookbook: Some of her recipes and pieces of food. o Stephen Hawking book: Pretending to have Lou Gehrig's Disease which included sitting in wheelchairs with heads back and to one side. o The Secret book: Dressing up as a crackpot expert (in white straitjackets). * If Life Were a Musical; Booking a holiday to India at Flight Centre. * The Fixers; Packer media empire, treating Adrian McKenzie as the new James Packer. Paul Keating, Julian asking him if he wanted to star in his new musical "Kevin Rudd the Musical". * Ad/Trailer; The new "Battered Sav Supreme" pizza available at Vomino's Pizza (Parody of Domino's Pizza). * Nut Job of the Week; Richard Cohen trying to turn gay people straight which included Chas and Chris trying it out on a gay man for real. * Ad/Trailer; The Crazy Warehouse Guy documentary. * Ad Road Test o The promo where people make lists on the bus for the Seven Network game show The Rich List. o The Riva Instant Coffee advertisement where people put on a dance routine using trolleys in a supermarket.

Sept 2007

* Intro Joke; First human to catch horse flu: Matt Shirvington. * Intro; APEC Summit in Sydney, incorrect White House press releases o Stunt; New uniforms for APEC leaders o Stunt; Replacing Australian animals in the zoo o Stunt; Glorifying APEC security measures (including doing checks on a Melbourne tram and in Hungry Jacks toilets) * Ad/Trailer; The Horse Flu Handicap horse race at Phlegmington (featured horse flu related names for the horses racing) * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Talking to his doctor about his wife lactating apple cider * Stunt; Sneaking weapons into prison * Song; APEC protester (parody of "Subterreanean Homesick Blues" by Bob Dylan) * Stunt; Andrew Hansen as a performer on Thank God You're Here * Ad/Trailer; "Dicko" (Parody of Sicko) * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week; Lesson 21: Things learned during the break which featured apologising to an actor who was called a pedophile, Matell toys made with lead paint, on board Kitty Hawk, upcoming election stories, J.K. Rowling story rip-off o Anna Coren's Segue of the Week; Macquarie Bank to Harry Potter * Ad/Trailer; The new Australian WorkChoices advertisements * The Fixers; Kevin Rudd (following him around with a stripper), different versions of the "Kevin 07" t-shirts * Song; "Where's My E?" (about drug use by players in the NRL mainly Andrew Johns and is a parody of "That's My Team" NRL Theme Song]] * Conclusion; Fake incorrect White House press releases * Stunt; Julian driving around Sydney in a tank including crushing a car

Sept 2007

Featuring the now infamous APEC stunt which made headlines around the world and landed the Chaser team in legal trouble. * Intro Joke; Special Guest: "Pavarotting" * Intro; APEC, Dryzabone Jackets, George W. Bush's speech mistakes o Stunt; Using a fake Canadian Motorcade to transport Chas dressed up as Osama Bin Laden into the APEC restricted zone o Stunt; Running around the streets of Sydney wearing cardboard Canadian cars o Intro (continued); Shots of The Chaser standing with world leaders on the steps of the Sydney Opera House o Stunt; Are RSL's harder to get into than APEC? (Involves attempting to get into RSL's with APEC ID's) o Stunt; Chas ringing up a talkback radio station posing as someone else complaining about The Chaser o Intro (continued); Kevin Rudd impressing the Chinese President Hu Jintao with his knowledge of Mandarin (with The Chasers placing fake subtitles on screen) o Stunt; Public APEC Firework viewing including a firework which spelt out "Screw APEC" * Ad/Trailer; Network Ten, Seriously Desperate (hits back at Ten's show Californication) * If Life were a Musical; Andrew, Chris and Chas singing to a University student proclaiming their love for her * Stunt; Moving house by transporting possessions via a bicycle courier and then a public bus * Discussion; Using clown doctors when dealing with people putting down their pets and people on death row * Ad/Trailer; Emo laundry powder (parody of Omo) * A Message from Osama Bin Laden; Peter Beattie's departure, Chas dressing up as him * The Fixers o Horse Flu: Using a pantomime horse in a horse race o China's Evil President: Getting Chinese officials to pay for bullets beforehand o Foxtel: Andrew Hansen dressed up as Adolf Hitler storming into Foxtel's offices and compaining about the cancellation of one of his shows o Pisshead Troops: Getting politicians to skull long plastic pipes full of beer * Ad/Trailer; Australia Zoo (protecting the Irwin family "species") * Song; "Stairway to Kevin" (parody of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin) * End Joke; Giving credit to the other nine people who got arrested for involvement in the fake APEC motorcade

Sept 2007

* Intro Joke; Only 27 minutes to go until Summer Heights High * Change of names; Craig - James Mathison, Chris - Andrew G, Julian - Kyle Sandilands, Chas - Ian "Dicko" Dickson, Andrew - Marcia Hines * Intro; John Howard's poll results * Stunt; Redecorating Malcolm Turnbull's office with John Howard posters * Stunt; Being able to receive free goods and services on your wedding day (which included a free slab of beer, free food, free movie tickets and popcorn, a free jet boat ride, an unreserved table in an upmarket restaurant with a free dessert and a free performance from Kamahl) * Surprise Spruiker; The Royal Australian Navy Base promoting free breast enlargement proccedures * Firth in the USA; Should Muslims live as second class citizens in the United States? * Sketch; Movie roles which Hugh Grant tried out for but didn't get the part. Included movies such as Jerry Maguire, A Few Good Men and Reservoir Dogs * Stunt; Adult Shrek merchandise aimed at kids (included products such as cigarettes and ash trays, beer, heroin and vibrators) * Ad/Trailer; The Comedy Channel's "Fuck-a-thon" (Comedians whose routines are based on saying "Fuck" repeatedly) as well as the "Frankston Fest" (Comedians who make bad taste jokes about Frankston) * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Terrible hair styles * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 22: The Supermenace (the top 3 menaces to society, #3: Drugs, #2: Weather, #1: Asians) * Ad/Trailer; The "JI Extreme" van with built-in terrorist aid features * Ad Road Test; KFC Mashies (where people play finger soccer with the food in a library followed by playing with all kinds of KFC food in a KFC restaurant) * End joke; Playing the credits of The New Inventors

Sept 2007

* Intro Joke; Now even more silent - Marcel Marceau * Change of names; Craig - Milko, Chris - Kate Richie, Julian - Sally, Chas - Don't Go Alf, Andrew - Quitter * Intro; The Australian Liberal Party dirt file, assuming John Howard is gay, Kevin Rudd and Alexander Downer talking about tax thresholds including Lateline's "other camera" * Stunt; Bring Rob Mills down to Tasmania to see if the Tasmanian premier Paul Lennon minds * Ad/Trailer; Classic Albums - Sounds of the Humpback Whale * Open Mic; Upmarket shopping centre, Target, Woolworths, Westfield Group shopping centre * Stunt; Seeing how many times Chas can complain about his meal at a restaurant and have it taken back * If Life Were a Musical; Chas singing about having all his hair on his body shaved off and not just his face in a Barber shop * Ad/Trailer; A Ingmar Bergman directed in-flight safety video, followed up by a review of it by David Stratton and Margaret Pomeranz from At the Movies * The Lab; This weeks category: Cosmetics - featuring various gels and creams (also featuring a scene with Julian dressing up as a primary school student and going to school due to the effects of an anti-ageing cream product) * Song; "Ass Sol" by Sol Trujillo (directed at his management of Telstra and a parody of the Denis Leary song "Asshole") * The Fixers o Mime: A mimed funeral of Marcel Marceau) o Kevin Rudd Asking him if he can speak Chinese and calling him a smart arse in Mandarin o Jetstar: Offering passengers safety ticket upgrades, parachutes and helmets * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; Now in the words of Marcel Marceau, Silence

Oct 2007

* Intro Joke; On hunger strike for Burma - Isabelle Caro * Change of names; Craig - Sporty Chaser, Chris - Posh Chaser, Julian - Scary Chaser, Chas - Baby Chaser, Andrew - Sporty-ish Chaser * Intro; AFL Grand Final celebrations, Australian citizenship test o Stunt; How many Australian nationals could pass the new citizenship test? * Stunt; Showing prospective lessees around increasingly unsuitable rooms for rent * Ad/Trailer; Stynx deodorant * Stunt; Julian pretending to be an inspector and going around a carpet warehouse sale, putting up signs advertising excessive discounts * Ad/Trailer; The World's Most Inconvenient Interviews 4 * Discussion; Israel's kosher mobile phone plans * Ad/Trailer; "Jewcy" Rabbi Phone Chatline * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 23: When the Cupboard's Bare. How to dredge up news stories from nowhere including reports on a bingo hall which banned patrons from bringing in dogs, a pony that watches TV, illegal trade in shopping trolleys and a woman who plans to have eleven children o Anna Coren's Meaningless Gibberish of the Week; Bizarre intro to a report on corporate law * Ad/Trailer; P&OD Cruises * Stunt; Trying to scare away tourists from climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge on the grounds that it is a sacred site for white people * Song; Newtown (a satire on Tim Freedman) * The Fixers; John Laws cash for comment disclosures, Burma * Stunt; Trying to hold a rave in a clothing store * End joke; Fatboy Slim tour dates

Oct 2007

* Intro Joke; Estimated number of Britney jokes in this episode - 37 * Change of names; Craig - Hugh Laurie, Chris - Robert Sean Leonard, Julian - Jesse Spencer, Chas - Omar Epps, Andrew - Lisa Edelstein * Intro; New Tasmanian pulp mill, Hillsong controversy * Stunt; Craig posing as a courier and trying to deliver dangerous or unpleasant items to public buildings, such as live animals and a dummy bomb * Ad/Trailer; Jeff Buckley - The Ultimate Collection * Stunt; What is the most minor disability Chas can claim to have in order to get a disabled - only seat on public transport? * If Life Were a Musical; Applying for a driving license * Ad/Trailer; Albino Man * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Standing on the wrong side of an escalator * Election Watch; The African Immigration Experience * The Fixers o Mr. Potato Head: Following a news story earlier in the week where Sydney Airport detained a passenger trying to smuggle drugs inside a Mr. Potato Head figure o Kerry Packer: Involving his family flouting the hosepipe ban by buying in water from a third - party supplier o The Homeless: Homeless people wearing a poker machine on their body for people to play then "guilt" them to give the money back because they "stole" from a homeless person * Ad/Trailer; Four Corners - Special report on hearse drag races * Ad Road Test o Uncle Toby's Oat Brits (offering an oat - based breakfast cereal to cafe patrons); o The Foxtel cable ad where people travel by rolling everywhere * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "We'll catch you again at Hillsong this Sunday ... oh, what a giveaway!"

Oct 2007

* Pre-show warning - The show may be offensive to Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders (A common warning on the ABC; in some indigenous cultures, death is taboo) * Intro Joke; Tonight's episode paid for by the Exclusive Brethren * Change of names; Craig - Laurie Oakes, Chris - Jim Middleton, Julian - Glenn Milne, Chas - Paul Bongiorno, Andrew - Michelle Grattan * Intro; John Howard and Kevin Rudd election promises as well as debates and slogans * Stunt; Craig dressing up as Emmett "Doc" Brown from Back to the Future and offering John Howard the chance to go back in time in a De Lorean DMC-12 and undo some of his decisions * Ad/Trailer; Hocktober: A radio program based around the antics of Workplace Relations Minister Joe Hockey. * Open Mic; Railway station, Karaoke at Woolworths * Stunt; Chas taking naps in public when he is forced to wait for goods and services * Ad/Trailer; Cats the movie as directed by Ken Loach * Pursuit Trivia; Joe Hockey * Election Watch; Aboriginal reconciliation * Ad/Trailer; Kevin Rudd election ad in which he admits he steals John Howard's ideas * The Fixers o Peter Garrett: Trying to get him to re-sing his Midnight Oil songs with a band The Chaser supplied o Rip-off memorabilia: Stealing items from the North Queensland Cowboys NRL team at the airport o Skin cancer: Promoting a coffin which has been fitted out as a tanning booth o Identity theft: Stealing the identity of an ANZ security manager at the identity theft conference. * Song; "The Eulogy Song", featuring references to deceased celebrities and how they were disliked when they were alive but treated like "top blokes" once they died * End joke; Radiohead offer

Oct 2007

* Intro Joke; Special guest worm: Richard Pratt * Change of names; Craig - John Howard, Chris - Kevin Rudd, Julian - Bob Brown, Chas - Mark Vaile, Andrew - Lyn Allison * Intro; No worm on the show tonight, televised election debate, election soundbites o Stunt; Dressing up as white rabbits and following John Howard around, holding up signs for election issues such as "AFRICANS" and "ECONOMY" that he could "pull out of a hat" in order to win * Stunt; Craig parking in the middle of the supermarket while he does his shopping, pretending that the car is a raffle prize for charity * Ad/Trailer; Liberal Party election ad - If Labour wins, 100% of ACTU officials will be trade union members * Sketch; Japanese TV * Sketch; Chris taking showers and washing his car with the water stored inside a pet camel's hump, in order to beat the drought * Election Watch; Unions * The Fixers o Oversize popcorn: Walking into a cinema with oversized boxes of popcorn ranging from 1 - 2m high o Robert McClelland: Julian interrupting McClelland's speech at the University of Sydney and saying that the floor cannot take any questions today because answers may reflect Labour policy * If Life Were a Musical; Serenading a woman who lent Andrew an umbrella in the rain * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 24: Attitude. o Anna Coren's Meaningless Gibberish of the Week: Double Standards * Ad/Trailer; Parody of Kevin Rudd and John Howard's "turning off the TV" election ads on YouTube, where Andrew begins to sing a new verse to "The Eulogy Song" (about David Hookes) but is cut off in the same style as the ads * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And remember, up next: the worm decides the outcome of Summer Heights High!"

Oct 2007

* Intro Joke; Sporting event no one cares about: Boston Red Sox 4, Colorado Rockies 3 * Intro; Family First Party candidate accused of taking pornographic photos of himself, cabinet divisions over Kyoto, Kevin Rudd on Facebook, expulsions from the Labour Party o Stunt; Showing up at Kevin Rudd's house for a sleepover, saying that as his Facebook friends he should let them stay the night o Stunt; Pretending to read Peter Costello's mind via "thought bubbles" * Ad/Trailer; A Convenient Cause * Stunt; Putting WorkChoices advertising stickers on everything in a supermarket, including the employees * Sketch; Face of Jesus seen in a toilet bowl * Stunt; Andrew having conversations while turning his back on the other person, to see if this works as well as it does in soap operas * Election Watch; The Grey Vote * Citizens' Infringement Officer; People wearing "apparel" on a nudist beach (such as watches, jewellery and baseball caps) * Stunt; "The Hassler Challenge" - Dressing up as various street vendors/advertisers, trying to make one passerby stop for all five of them * The Fixers o Political advertising: Liberal Party parody of the 1980s AIDS awareness campaign with the Grim Reaper o Funny church signs: Putting up catchy signs outside mosques and synagogues o Julia Gillard: Dressing up as Karl Marx and trying to hug her, asking her to "embrace Communism" * Stunt; "Streaking" fully clothed at nudist events * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "Just a reminder. If you're over 18 and haven't enrolled to vote yet, bad luck, you're too late, because John Howard changed the rules!"

Nov 2007

* Intro Joke; Late scratching from this week's show: Charles Firth * Change of names; Craig - Master O'Reilly, Chris - Purple Moon, Julian - Mahler, Chas - Zipping, Andrew - Mr Ed * Intro; National Party members going rollerskating, interest rate rise, controversial comments made by Peter Garrett o Stunt; Barricading the house of Glenn Stevens, governor of the Reserve Bank o The Soundbite Challenge; New segment where The Chaser counts up how many times a politician has repeated the same word or soundbite in one press conference. 10 uses of the word "jocular" by Peter Garrett. o Stunt; Telling jokes to Steve Price to find out if he has any sense of humour at all * Stunt; Dumping various items of junk in a modern art gallery and passing them off as new exhibits * Ad/Trailer; Bunnings Warehouse 1: Takeover of small businesses * Stunt; Trying to bribe people on the street to vote for the Labour Party * Ad/Trailer; Geraldine Doogue emulating Britney Spears * What You Missed on Cable; Paranormal TV including Dead Famous, Most Haunted and Derek Acorah * If Life Were a Musical; Gang warfare (à la West Side Story) * The Fixers o Media scrums: Addressing a question to Julia Gillard by way of a remote controlled robot o Union bosses: Going trick-or-treating dressed as union bosses, to see how scary they really are * Ad/Trailer; Bunnings Warehouse 2: Too busy making commercials to provide any customer service * Stunt; Andrew dressing as Where's Wally? and checking himself into a lost property office * Sketch; Chris paying for live musical performances and podcasts on the train, because he doesn't have an iPod * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And as always, I'd like to leave you with a funny quip, but unfortunately our writers have gone on strike."

Nov 2007

* Intro Joke; There's a Supreme Court injunction against this gag * Change of names; Craig - Defecting to Nine, Chris - Defecting to Seven, Julian - Defecting to Understanding 50 Ads, Chas - Defecting to Ten, Andrew - Defecting to SBS * Intro; Election campaign launches and slogans, people falling asleep at the sight of John Howard * Stunt; Craig posing as an outdoor portrait artist and demanding large amounts of money for drawing stick figures of people * Ad/Trailer; Least Favourite Things * Open Mic; QANTAS terminal * Stunt; Chas requesting a doggy bag for a very small amount of leftovers in a restaurant * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Discussing a plan to murder his mother * Ad/Trailer; Elizabeth: The Golden Age with Bob Dylan taking Cate Blanchett's role as Elizabeth I of England (a reference to Blanchett playing Dylan in the film I'm Not There) * Election Watch; The Environment * The Fixers; o John Edward: Dressing up as the Ghostbusters and confronting Edward with a "bullshit meter" o Smoking: Julian pretending to be a terminally ill patient and asking people if they recognize him from the warning pictures on cigarette packets * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 25: Hiding bad acting, Lesson 26: Product placement, "Highly dubious reenactment" of the footage The Chaser shot at Today Tonight before being issued with a court injunction o Anna Coren's Segue of the Week; From the Melbourne Cup to a boy band * If Life Were a Musical; Craig applying to a talent agent with his terrible singing * Ad Road Test o The Loctite superglue ad where a man is glued to the ceiling by the soles of his shoes o Novotel commercial featuring wild animals checking into a hotel

Nov 2007

Nov 2007